Excerpts

Those of you who have children know that you walk out of the delivery room into a time warp. Before you realize it, your little bundle of joy graduated high school and you and your spouse are left in an empty house staring at each other like strangers. A baby is a precious gift. From the moment they are laid in your arms, you’ve fallen head over heels in love and the first time they wrap their little hand around your finger, your life will never be the same. We only think we know the true meaning of love until we have our first child. Our babies depend on us parents for everything that they need. It is our privilege to provide them with love, care, attention, food, and shelter. When we become a parent we take on an entirely different role in our lives and it can be relatively easy for parents to forget to cultivate passion and closeness within their marriage with all of the demands put upon them. Whether you stay at home with your children or work outside the home, your days consist of meeting constant expectations. Nobody teaches us to be parents. There isn’t any manual that comes with these little bundles of joy. All we wanted to do was love our kids, but we didn’t realize that included discipline, boundaries, consequences, rewards and our ability to adjust to change frequently.

Why does it take so long for us as parents to realize that we have to be clear about what we want and that it is up to us to give clear messages to our children? For your marriage to be successful, you absolutely have to put your relationship with your spouse first, and your kids second. As parents, the majority of our lives are spent in the company of others, and then we are often drawn away from our own needs. You can’t expect more in your relationships with your children than you have in your relationship with each other as a couple. The two of you as a unit are the heart of the family and unless you make each other your first priority, you’ll have nothing to give your children.

Most parenting skills are based on working on yourself and becoming who you want to be and who you want your children to see. No such thing as do what I say not what I do. Don’t do what you don’t want to see in children. Most behaviors that you want to see in children are caught not taught.