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Did you ever wonder why we have greater than a 50% divorce rate in our country?  Do you see 50% of married couples fighting and bickering and ready to split at the drop of a pin?  I doubt it.  Mostly you see couples living their life, following daily routines, settled down, and then all of a sudden one spouse or the other says they want a divorce.  This is exactly the symptom of a good marriage.  All relationships are either growing or dying, there is no standing still.  Once couples think they have a good marriage, they stop growing.  It’s that simple.  Communication drops off, they sit side by side, but watch TV or get locked in their own book or work.  They take each other for granted more and more.  Sooner or later one or the other wakes up and asks, “Is this all there is?”  Without even trying they set themselves up for a thrilling, fresh, outside relationship. 

The good news is that it only takes a decision to do the same in your own marriage. The most successful couples know that they have to create new and fresh ways to keep their relationship growing.  They set aside specific time for intimate conversation and they use outside influences like marriage retreats and directed mentoring at least once a year.  Do you have a good marriage?  Watch out!

Especially in this season where so many of us experience so much joy there a countless numbers who experience emptiness, loneliness, and depression.  It is also the time when the idea of divorce runs rampant.  Why?  It’s because somewhere along the line we as a culture and society have forgotten that Love is NOT a feeling BUT a Decision.  The loving feelings always follow the decision! 

This is the way the relationship goes. You decide to look at that attractive body and suddenly you feel a tingling.  You decide to approach and get a yes and the feelings cascade into giddiness and joy.  As long as you decide to pursue, new, different and magical feelings seem to happen every day.  Then things are getting too serious and you start to feel smothered or trapped, so you decide to “cool off” and not see each other for a while, to date other people (all decisions).  What you feel then, will either drive you back to each other or be a final farewell.  Those who do DECIDE to get back together are usually the ones who end up marrying.  They have decided that they can’t live without one another. Unfortunately, once married they often stop marrying.  They slide into routines, they get into ruts, they take each other for granted (all decisions), and suddenly they feel empty, alone, depressed and think they have fallen out of love. But what they really did is NOT make all the little decisions to put each other first like they did when they were pursuing.  You have to decide to write love notes, to pull yourself away from the TV and computer, to buy those flowers, to light candles and wear attractive night clothing, to treat each other with respect, to say no to outside influences and temptations. Decide first, feelings follow…